2002-06-12|9:42 a.m.
I guess S had to write a personal statement for something and she posted it on her diary. Her D-Land name is Earthlila. It is worth a read. I just wanted to quote her here, because I thought this part of it was exceptionally poignant:
"This essentially boils down to a loss of soul- true community soul. Destroyed by fear and distance; difference and dissidence. The general population has lost its knowledge of the ancient art of friendliness. It took a disaster to make people smile on the subway! We can't do it, we can't see past the skin, clothes, money, aesthetic, difference... Somehow we have trained our minds in the art of division and yet we can't remember how to add. Two eyes, two ears, mouth, nose: I'm YOU and YOU are ME. I couldn't exist without you picking fruit in the fields, but I don't care if you have medical insurance. You create every object I own, from clothing to frivolity, but it hadn't occurred to me that you EAT. You keep my car working, and you fix my air conditioner in the Summer. You publish books for me to read, and you print the money that I use every day.... Interconnection is not a large leap of faith, it is a hidden reality in a disconnected universe."
S's mind is a gift. Her heart is a blessing. Thank you.
I got my nose ring put back in. It was almost painless this time. It bled a lot though. I wanted to take pictures of the process with my new digital camera (b-day gift from A), but I chickened out on asking the girl if I could. The girl who pierced my nostril is an earthbound goddess. She is tall, with long thin arms and legs and strong, even features. She is adorned with tattooed sleeves and subtle piercings making her Roman among the Romans of a tattoo parlor. Even her voice is clear and sweet like the clich�, "like a bell." Beautiful people, like this woman, make my heart race.
One of Holden's favorite things is to put his head on my neck while I am lying down. Whenever possible, he places his head close to mine and he stares into my eyes. If it is possible to be best friends with a dog, I think I've accomplished it. He really makes me smile.
My brother has some sort of mental disability. A few doctors have called it ADD or even ADHD, but I am not sure it is even those things. He is in no way hyperactive. He is just below average. And he also got my dad's short fuse temper. And when life is confusing to us it is easy to get upset. I have never met anyone so upset and lonely as J. This makes my brother's life always difficult. When people watch "Forrest Gump," the sweet, dull-minded hero touches them. They want the happiest of happy endings for him. But, when people meet my angry, frustrated brother they want him out of sight. We like sweet, fresh boxes of chocolates, but throw out the bitter, stale ones.
My mother's depression and my parents' divorce meant that I had to take on the mother-role and take care of him. I never minded it; he is dear to me. But, I am sure that I was never enough for him. My dad, when we were both young, once told me that I got my share of brains and J's so I was indebted to him. For a long time, I was really upset with myself for what I had. I really do owe myself to him.
Word of the Day: peregrine- having a tendency to wander
Yeah, I am sorry about that.