2002-05-30|9:43 a.m.
"Skyscrapers are scraping together"
I was setting up the tills this morning when I passed the book section of the store and what did I see before my puffy eyes? Young Readers Classics! And what was there? My favorite little book, Dr. Mr. Henshaw! There was also Bridge to Tarabitha and Julie and the Wolves. It made me feel warm.
Not that I need to feel warmer. Summer is already in full swing here. The nights are even unbearable.
"When it's hot in the poor places tonight/ I'm not going outside"
So, yeah, I have puffy eyes. I cried till I got so tired that I fell asleep last night. We are having problems between the three of us (Am, A, and myself) with the issue of rent. It ended up getting resolved, I suppose. But, it means that I have to work even harder to find a way to come up with more money. I am starting to feel a bit worn. A doesn't have any money and is trying to borrow a little from his work. But, even still, I have to come up with all of my share and his, so all of my savings are gone and then some. And then, I just got this feeling that I wasn't being appreciated. In some ways I wasn't and some I was. I feel better today though. It is just hard to make sense of things in my head sometimes.
"Distance has no way of making love understandable"
A can't come back to visit my parents with me. 
So, it is just going to be MM and me on the bus for 1500 miles there, a week in Arkansas, and 1500 miles back. I am really looking forward to it. I very much want to see them, and I also need the break. I just wish that it wasn't so expensive to travel. Luckily, MM bought the tickets and my dad is going to pay him back. MM is the best! Plus, I am kind of excited to hang out with him for a whole week. I get to show him around the family farm. But, he is no Pauly Shore.
Yesterday, I went to a family owned tire place. I am trying to sell my car to make some more money to move and I need to take it down to A's uncle's to be fixed. But first, I needed to get a tire on it. So, A's mom takes me to this tire place. It is this huge warehouse-type building on a small lot with a house with mounds and mounds of tires ornamenting the yard. The men, that worked there, were all family, I assumed. Their faces and upper bodies were a dark brick-red color, and their sweat and the black mixed and beaded on their strong, yet un-toned bodies. They were also much faster than the guys who work at Wal-Mart were, I noticed. I wondered if the monotony ever got to them. The thing that brought a smile to my face was that they only charge tax if you write a check. I love that they don't pay taxes unless it is documented. The place was called "B & B Tires," which you could read from the sign someone made out of some wood and a little paint.
"picking apples for the kings and queens of things I've never seen"
Word of the Day: litany- a prayer consisting of a series of invocations and supplications by the leader with alternate responses by the congregation/ a usually lengthy recitation or enumeration
"You have to learn how to die/ if you wanna wanna be alive"
Hallelujah!