2002-02-08|9:20 a.m.
"by the stars and clouds above, we can spend our lives in love"
I guess I won't find out which UC campus I will be accepted to until May. That seems like too long a time to have to wait for news like that.
When I spend a lot of time with someone I begin to pick up his or her mannerisms. I find myself moving my hands like them or raising my eyebrow a certain way. I don't do it on purpose. I am a natural mimic coming to a sidewalk performance near you.
I have this wonderful dog named Holden Maxwell O (A's last name). I gave him his first name after the character everyone seems to know by now from Catcher in the Rye, even if they never read the book. Maxwell is a gift from his godfather MM Corleone (just kidding, I really just mean plain ol' non-Mafia leader MM, as we so lovingly know him as). Holden is a ten-pound Chihuahua that has the coloring of a red Doberman. And he is so much like his namesake. He is arrogant, and picks fights with my step sister's two big dogs. I can imagine him going around calling people phony in his head, as he almost never likes anyone. It is ok though, all the people I like, he does likewise. I love that little dog.
"ten hundred books could I write you about her because I felt if I could know her I would know all women"
I haven't been so sad lately. Sometimes it hits me and demobilizes my thinking, but it passes. I wish I could know it would stay like this.
"Needle in the Hay" by Elliot Smith makes me want to kiss him. The way the voice of that man just rolls into my head and sends shivers through me.
A used to work with this girl who now strips. They are good friends still. She does the kind of stripping that doesn't involve taking off all your clothes, just to your skimpy bikini or whatever. Every so often she comes up to visit A and he provides her with music. They are songs from Portishead and the Rollingstones and others. I love hearing what he picks. It is always something that I would love to see applied to stripping. Not saying that I would really even like to watch a show. It is just that I know that most of the time such performances are given with Limp Bizkit and other horrible bands blaring in the background. It seems even the sexy interests I might have are not mainstream.
Sometimes I am just hit with the thought, 'I am glad that MZ and I are still friends.'
"so, I'd give this world just to dream a dream with you on our bed of California stars"