2003-12-07|10:10 a.m.
Good news: I got an A- on both of the papers I was working on despite the fact that the one was nearly a week late. I took the initiative to talk to the professor himself and told him the truth and it worked. And I ended up talking to that TA and getting my B- changed to a B. So, with hard work (two papers this week) and smarts (one in class exam), I hope to get some As this quarter to boost my GPA.
Bad news: 1) I am bad at relationships both romantic and friendship based. I lack the ability to recognize what is best for me and then bring the ship down with me. From now on, no more of that. 2) Also, I am very sick. My coughing has worsened even though I have more strength. Yesterday, blood was coming up. AN was nice enough to call her friend�s dad who is a doctor to confirm that I only had the flu. It�s scary to see blood, nonetheless. Maybe, I will stop being stubborn and take some medicine other than Theraflu.
I never set New Year�s Resolutions but this year I am going to make a list early and get a head start:
1) I will, as soon as I am well again, start jogging in the evenings. I think it will make me feel better.
2) I will compliment more people even when I am nervous about it.
3) I will make an effort to talk to all of my TAs and professors at least once during their office hours to get familiar with them and to work on getting better marks.
4) I will learn about a new country and use a new word every week.
5) I will write one letter a week to a family member or friend.
6) I will focus on my happiness and that includes being completely honest about my personal boundaries and needs with others.
7) I will go to class everyday.
8) I won�t spend money on clothes. If I want clothes I will make them.
9) I will eat out less and make cheap food at home more.
10) I will spend less time on the internet looking at porn, chatting (instead I will call or write real letters), and wandering around aimlessly.
11) I will force myself to read more for class and enjoy it.
12) I will sell stuff on ebay and use the money to pay off old credit cards.
13) I will send people thank you notes for small favors and gifts.
14) I will not be happy or unhappy because of someone else. If someone doesn�t want to offer me their time or consideration, I have look past that and find something better to think or do.
15) I will save money up and go to a movie every other week by myself.
�People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.� �George Bernard Shaw
Shaw was a witty yet cynical man. So, when I happened upon this quote I was struck by its optimism, even if it is self-fulfilled optimism. Perhaps, that is the only way an optimist isn�t just a fool. Not that I mind a happy fool.