2003-06-06|11:50 p.m.
Early day was overcast and the late day brought a gentle rain here in San Diego. This is a very odd day for June. The wet streets and dark skies made the day perfect for that part of the movie where the beloved character dies, when even Mother Nature mourns. But today is not one of death for myself, but of birth-- my very own day of entrance to this world. And the rain is nothing new. It always seems to rain on my birthday.
A was supposed to meet me for breakfast. He failed to call to tell me that a very good filming opportunity came up. I wished that he would have canceled (or wished me a happy day). I don't blame him for taking the opportunity. But waiting until three this afternoon to get the let down was disenchanting.
In some ways I hate my birthday. I often forget others', especially those who modestly refrain from reminding me any time before the day. And receiving gifts always puts me back. The gesture is precious to me, yet there's always the feeling that it's undeserved.
The official part of my day was dinner with my mom. We had Thai at my favorite place where I am known as a regular.
My mom told me stories of when she was younger. I told her my dreams of my future. And it made me think how valuable this present time is. I sat at a table with a woman that allowed me to break through her body, cause her to bleed, cry out, and yearn to hold me. She told me of a time before I existed. I told her of a time that has not yet happened. And we shared the time between with jasmine tea and full bellies. We even talked about her brother that passed away last year and how we missed him so. It was a very fullfilling evening. A better day than I imagined it would be.
Here are some pictures of me at the ripe new age of 22 that my mom took to capture the day (almost all profiles, sorry):
And I had some fun by making this by taking a picture of a magazine cut out of a model and some Photoshop tweaking:
