2003-01-05|10:52 a.m.
The boy from Kansas:
He is brilliant and clever (and knows it).
I bought a large wall map of the United States to put in my room, because I like maps. But, the first thing I did is find his hometown on it.
I�ve seen about a dozen Kansas license plates since he left for there. Each one fills me with fondness. It�s strange and silent and creates and achy mass somewhere in my chest.
We were supposed to go see Pinback, this really wonderful band, this week. If he is still going, then maybe he will bump into A there, who is going with some girl named Tori. That is a strange chain of events.
He wrote me a long letter which says in the end pretty simply, �It may be tragic that we cannot be friends, but that is the way it is.�
I guess I understand. I said the very same things about A. I didn�t want to be friends when the capacity for such was not possible.
But.
But, recognizing the �way it is� makes no amends to the tragic.
His family is full of a bunch of scholars with suffixes like PhDs and such. Contrastingly, I am the daughter of a family that never went to college. And although this single difference might not explain it completely, there is some kind of challenge to our compatibility in this. Yet, I am pretty sure it was often complimentary somehow, as well.
We spent many nights and early mornings staying up and talking:
shesajarofcandy: well, i'm not so much comparing times ....or looking at immigrants in general...i am just honestly shocked at the bad things that happen...the way humans behave to each other
(He showed me a pretty depressing series of articles about immigrants who recently came to the US, to which I reacted to the same way I always do�)
shesajarofcandy: i just don't get it
boyfromkansas: well, the forbidden fruit was knowledge of good and evil, not an apple
Yeah, he is pretty much beautiful like that all the time.
With exception to his pretty sharp tongue last night.
Emporia, Kansas, I guess this is goodbye.