2002-06-04|9:09 a.m.
When I tell people of my job they say, "You must like numbers." From which, I try my best to contain my most disgusted look. As I have mentioned before, I hate math. But, in some very secret way, they are sort of right. Numbers have patterns, as do many things in life. And I love patterns. It also delights me to have my numbers even out after adding several uneven transactions. Like 4.55, 3.89, 6.71, and 4.85, it is interesting to have it all come out to an even 20.00. I also like to add the numbers in my head to see if I am correct. When someone who is good/likes math would see that as just doing simple math, I'd feel magic. The calculator and I "magically" arrived at the same number.
I know I must sound like a complete freak.
My 21st birthday is this Thursday. A is throwing me a birthday party with an 80's theme. It sounds pretty fun. I think it is pretty sweet that he is doing it. It will be the first birthday anyone has ever thrown me.
But, on my actual birthday, I will be alone. A, Am, and Aaron are going to a "Jews against Israel" rally in L.A. They are setting up an anti-Corporate booth. The whole thing seems pretty clever to me, but at the same time pretty tiresome. I mean, I'm with the next guy who wants a two state system in Israel/Palestine and wants the end of human rights violations in that area. And with the corporate thing, it disgusts me just as much to see the way that grand scale greed trickles down to the average Joe and limits his choices to what some dudes in suits have determined to be a mass appeal. But, the rally sorta makes me sad. When a bunch of people get together to be "against" something, they create energy of hate, misunderstanding, and frustration. And this is all supposed to be okayed by the fact that it is led by Jews. Plus, it scares me a bit that there is a growing popularity against Israelis. The Israelis government upsets me too, but I can never really advocate being against a people. And the corporate issue seems even more futile to me. It is this force that cannot be reconciled with except to simply say I will not be a part of it. If people don't like what is being offered to them, then don't consume. If they do, then consume. I guess if that is A and his friend's aim, then that is fine. It is just pretty hard to be anti-corporate-cool while working for a corporate drug store, like myself.
And maybe, none of it bothers me. Maybe, I am just hurt that I am being ditched on my birthday. A did say to Am, "I don't know if she'll want to go, it is her birthday." Which was considerate of him to recognize the fact that I might not want to go, but it didn't stop him from making plans to be somewhere else. Like he was sensitive enough to realize that I wouldn't want to spend my time at a noisy rally on my birthday, but not enough to see that I also wouldn't want to spend it alone.
And maybe, I am just being a melodramatic baby. Maybe, I need to just go have fun on my own.
Nice try with no stupid car.
So, if you have a car and want to take a newly legal girl to a bar for her birthday for a couple drinks, consider me open for invitations.
I have some good news. I got accepted to this program at a college on the East Coast for week or two. The program is designed to give students knowledge on environmental law and the skills to set up other programs in your own area to increase awareness of the environment. I have to call today to tell them that if they want me to come they have to front the dough. It is pretty expensive. If I end up having things go my way, it seems like I'll be having some fun learning about something I have always wanted to know more about.
The Art of Living course ends tonight. It has been fun. I have learned a lot, done a lot of silly noises in front of a bunch of old ladies, and laughed a lot with MZ. In fact, the best part has been being able to hang around with the "handsome, beautiful brown-eyed young man," MZ (the old ladies, who I got the quote from, were also quite happy to have him there). Most friends, when they are apart for a prolonged time, they spend the reunited time reminiscing over the past. MZ and I do this, but we also manage to "live in the present moment." Like old times, we bust out in laughter without even needing to speak.
Word of the Day: Cockaigne- an imaginary land of great luxury and ease
"Ha, and then I'll laugh because I said '[cock]'."