2002-04-05|7:58 p.m.
So, I am back from NY, the beautiful city that it is. I felt homesick the minute I left it. I decided to let you really know how I felt about the weeklong experience and share my conversation with my best friend Mike to you, Diary. This is me like you have never seen me (ha ha ha, and it is long):
mike: hey there
shesajarofcandy: long time no see, eh?
mike: very long
mike: how is everything?
shesajarofcandy: not so good
shesajarofcandy: a lot of not good things are happening
mike: oh no
mike: what's wrong?
shesajarofcandy: my uncle that was sick with cancer...
shesajarofcandy: you remember him right?
mike: yes i do
shesajarofcandy: he is the one that lives with my grandma
mike: i know
shesajarofcandy: well while we were in NY
shesajarofcandy: he got really bad
shesajarofcandy: and went to the hospital
shesajarofcandy: they are giving him two weeks to live
mike: oh geez
shesajarofcandy: i visited my grandma's twice last week
shesajarofcandy: he is back there
shesajarofcandy: she is really broken up about it
shesajarofcandy: everyone around her is dying
shesajarofcandy: and so when this happens
shesajarofcandy: it is going to hit her very hard
shesajarofcandy: i'm going down there saturday night
shesajarofcandy: to be with her
shesajarofcandy: i didn't know how to be with my uncle
shesajarofcandy: i tried to talk only in the present tense
shesajarofcandy: as if all was fine
shesajarofcandy: but it was hard
shesajarofcandy: how do you tell someone that you have valued them so much in your life without bringing up the past
shesajarofcandy: he cried many times when i was there, sitting near his bed
shesajarofcandy: i have been so low lately
shesajarofcandy: plus other stuff is weighing on me
shesajarofcandy: but this is the most effectual
shesajarofcandy: you there?
mike: yup
shesajarofcandy: you ok?
mike: yeah, i'm ok
shesajarofcandy: we are getting evicted the 16th
shesajarofcandy: the house is being sold shortly after that
shesajarofcandy: so i have to move in with A
mike: april?
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: which sorta makes me sad
shesajarofcandy: yeah this month
mike: sad to leave?
shesajarofcandy: both
shesajarofcandy: i don't want to live here
shesajarofcandy: it is too crowded and too stressful
mike: yeah
shesajarofcandy: and i haven't heard from any of my colleges
mike: that's strange
shesajarofcandy: and i am beginning to think that i am going to get rejected
mike: your check cleared and everything, right?
shesajarofcandy: right
shesajarofcandy: it says on the web site that everything is ok
shesajarofcandy: with them receiving it
shesajarofcandy: and the check clearing
mike: this has nothing to do with rejection
shesajarofcandy: i just keep getting a bad fear that i filled something out incorrectly
shesajarofcandy: and now i am screwed
mike: what could possibly have gone wrong?
shesajarofcandy: aram hasn't heard from anyone
shesajarofcandy: besides the one
shesajarofcandy: that he was rejected from
shesajarofcandy: and A
shesajarofcandy: he only heard from santa barbara
mike: that's just how it is, i guess
mike: it doesn't mean anything
shesajarofcandy: well the latest that they come out is May 1st
shesajarofcandy: i just thought that the later they come....
shesajarofcandy: the less likely that you made it
mike: nope.......totally unrelated
shesajarofcandy: are you sure?
mike: yup
shesajarofcandy: A says i worry too much
mike: that's a fair statement
shesajarofcandy: but i wish i could just find out
shesajarofcandy: and get peace of mind
mike: you are impatient and you worry too much, and the combo together might have synergized
shesajarofcandy: mike...
mike: hmm?
shesajarofcandy: i have a lot of work to do for these classes too!
shesajarofcandy: i need to go back to NY
mike: haha why?
shesajarofcandy: i really loved it there
mike: wow, little town girl LOVES the big city?
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: and to be honest...i thought i would hate it
shesajarofcandy: i really did...then i found myself smiling there all the time
mike: it's a different kind of place than the big cities over here
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: more lively
shesajarofcandy: it is really true that the city comes alive at night
shesajarofcandy: the streets are brighter at night
shesajarofcandy: because the buildings are so tall every where in Manhattan
shesajarofcandy: at day it is dark
shesajarofcandy: but at night the lights illuminate everything
mike: oh yeah, that makes sense now that i think of it
shesajarofcandy: the street vendors are the best
mike: how come?
shesajarofcandy: they are all Jamaican
shesajarofcandy: and they are funny
mike: hehe
shesajarofcandy: and we had a good time trying to get them to change their prices
mike: =O
mike: you haggled!
shesajarofcandy: and ....
shesajarofcandy: the pizza....
shesajarofcandy: is truly the best
mike: =*)
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: i had a spinach and broccoli one
shesajarofcandy: ummm
shesajarofcandy: and i only ate one piece
shesajarofcandy: and then gave the other to a homeless guy!
shesajarofcandy: he was very happy to have it, and i was surprised to see he liked it.
mike: wow, that is great
mike: what else???
shesajarofcandy: well we went sight seeing
shesajarofcandy: i saw ground zero
shesajarofcandy: (even though i hate calling that site seeing)
shesajarofcandy: i wasn't so emotional there as i thought i would be
shesajarofcandy: what really hit me was this board wall that central station built for them
shesajarofcandy: it had a whole bunch of postings on it of people that lost their lives in the WTC and flowers and other commemorative things
mike: is it big?
shesajarofcandy: we were all as a group there looking at it and this guy came up
shesajarofcandy: no it is fairly small
shesajarofcandy: it isn't everyone .... just a place for a few
shesajarofcandy: and the guy touched one of the pictures, kissed it, and said, "i miss you," as tears streamed down his face
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: then he left
shesajarofcandy: none of us talked
shesajarofcandy: i almost broke down
shesajarofcandy: but then A started sobbing and it saved me
shesajarofcandy: i just consoled him
mike: he did?
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: the next most visibly sad person was kevin
shesajarofcandy: he didn't let anyone see though
shesajarofcandy: i mean that is a lot when i remember only a few months ago he was telling me shocking war stories while drunk and laughing matter of factly
shesajarofcandy: but i always knew it was just a facade
mike: yeah, probably a necessary one
shesajarofcandy: right
shesajarofcandy: the other ground zero related thing i saw was the statue that was outside the WTC
shesajarofcandy: it was this big metal ball
shesajarofcandy: that some guy constructed that represented world peace
shesajarofcandy: it was pretty wrecked
shesajarofcandy: but intact
shesajarofcandy: i mean seeing that really showed the intensity of the impact
mike: oh, i just wasn't clear on whether it was in the crashes, or if it was put there because of them, afterwards...like part of a memorial
mike: now i gotcha
shesajarofcandy: we also rode the subway
shesajarofcandy: that was fun
shesajarofcandy: and we went to wall street
shesajarofcandy: and i went to the building there that Washington took his oath
shesajarofcandy: that was neat
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: i imagined the little men in funny clothes walking up and down the steps
mike: also: powdered wigs
shesajarofcandy: yep
mike: hehehehe
shesajarofcandy: and you know that big brass bull that is there on wall street
mike: yup
shesajarofcandy: the one that is for some stock company
shesajarofcandy: well everyone was taking pictures with it
shesajarofcandy: and i thought it would be funny to take a picture with it too
shesajarofcandy: but
shesajarofcandy: (there is a pun in that)
shesajarofcandy: i took a picture with its butt
mike: ah!
mike: hehehehe
shesajarofcandy: we went to a really old church too
shesajarofcandy: and i walked in its graveyard
mike: like anne rice mentions
shesajarofcandy: some of the grave stones were from the late 1700's
shesajarofcandy: it was amazing
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: a lot of little kids and babies
shesajarofcandy: the stones all had faces of angels with wings or skeletons with wings on the tops
shesajarofcandy: like i have read about
shesajarofcandy: but have never seen
mike: yeah, i remember that.....did you show me that or did i read it somewhere else? like there was a big switch in graveyard art......i think it might have been in my folklore class
shesajarofcandy: maybe
mike: not graveyard art, that's a bad term
shesajarofcandy: hehehe yeah
shesajarofcandy: i went in the church too
shesajarofcandy: it was amazing
shesajarofcandy: it smelt like old wood
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: and it was cool and motionless like all old buildings
mike: was it still used even today?
shesajarofcandy: and it was Easter!
mike: oh wow
shesajarofcandy: i have never been in a church on a holiday
shesajarofcandy: yeah there were people there praying
shesajarofcandy: another moment i wished i was catholic
mike: hehe
mike: yes, we get all the perks!
mike: free wine on sundays
shesajarofcandy: what are you talking about? are you even catholic anymore?
shesajarofcandy: don't you have to attend church at all?
shesajarofcandy: hehehe
mike: ummmmm
mike: i believe the 5th commandment says i don't have to incriminate myself, or something like that.....i'm not too clear about all that stuff
shesajarofcandy: yeah, the catholics never are.
mike: zing!
shesajarofcandy: i went to times square
mike: at night?
shesajarofcandy: that was strange
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: it is a land of billboards
shesajarofcandy: but guess what i saw!
mike: what!
shesajarofcandy: the adbuster billboard!
mike: they have one??
shesajarofcandy: the anti-ads one
mike: what's it like
mike: i don't recall it
shesajarofcandy: the corporate flag is being spray painted on by a guy
shesajarofcandy: and it says something like fighting the corporate mindset ....or something like that
shesajarofcandy: i took a picture
mike: hehe
mike: did you take lots of pictures?
shesajarofcandy: one roll
shesajarofcandy: is all
shesajarofcandy: i wanted to see....more than capture
shesajarofcandy: they have frozen yogurt trucks there!
shesajarofcandy: it is soooo delicious
mike: i understand....you and the ephemeral!
mike: like ice cream trucks?
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: and wonderful delis that stay open all night
shesajarofcandy: and fun bars
mike: bars, eh?!
shesajarofcandy: that i had to sneak into
mike: hehehe
shesajarofcandy: kevin bought me a couple beers
mike: that was nice of him
shesajarofcandy: he always had women around him
mike: hehehhe
mike: were they babes?
shesajarofcandy: mostly these girls from a girl's school
shesajarofcandy: not really
shesajarofcandy: but hey.... i am picky
mike: yeah, me too
shesajarofcandy: my favorite part of the trip was this guy we saw at the dock where you could see the statue of liberty
shesajarofcandy: he sat playing a harmonica and a noise making thing
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: i became drunk by the moment
mike: did you stay and listen a while?
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: but i wanted to stay and sit next to him
shesajarofcandy: but the group wanted to go
shesajarofcandy: it was also my biggest regret
shesajarofcandy: i should have just sat next to him
shesajarofcandy: i thought to myself later, 'this is what music really is."
shesajarofcandy: some old man playing for a crowd with no attention
shesajarofcandy: with music that never falters in its honesty
shesajarofcandy: it is always just there as he makes it
shesajarofcandy: everyone could be watching or no one
shesajarofcandy: and he would play the same i imagine
mike: yeah
shesajarofcandy: and all he gets is what people put in his hat
shesajarofcandy: so that was mostly what i did
shesajarofcandy: walk a lot
shesajarofcandy: and look a lot
shesajarofcandy: (and listen)
mike: hehe, and feel a lot
shesajarofcandy: and smell!
shesajarofcandy: NY smells
mike: how does it smell?
shesajarofcandy: bad, good and everything between
shesajarofcandy: you'll hit a spot and think, 'man, i wish i didn't step there."
mike: hehehehe
shesajarofcandy: the competition was not so good for me
mike: why is that?
shesajarofcandy: i don't like those kind of people
shesajarofcandy: imagine a room of almost 200 people (not all of them show up) that are all like rese witherspoon's character in election
mike: were they ruthless?
shesajarofcandy: to say the least
mike: i was thinking of jeff allison
shesajarofcandy: nah, i can push off those types
shesajarofcandy: those types anger quickly and shut themselves down
shesajarofcandy: these are careful and out for blood
mike: do you mean on a professional level?
shesajarofcandy: everything
shesajarofcandy: women are the worst
mike: m!
shesajarofcandy: they would talk about each others clothes and whisper about each other
shesajarofcandy: at least the men just ignore each other if they don't want to work with someone else
shesajarofcandy: women need to alienate their enemies and crush them
mike: that settles it....chicks should stay out of politics
shesajarofcandy: at first i was very upset with aaron for not coming
mike: i got upset with him too, but not because i thought you couldn't handle it
shesajarofcandy: ha ha ha...who would all the male politicians have to sleep with then?
mike: flight attendants
shesajarofcandy: or cheat on their wives i should say.
mike: it's not cheating if you're rich, duh
shesajarofcandy: oh yeah
shesajarofcandy: well aaron shouldn't have left me like that
shesajarofcandy: and not even called
mike: i know
shesajarofcandy: he was my partner
shesajarofcandy: he should have called to see i was ok
shesajarofcandy: part of me doesn't believe he was sick
mike: even aram was a bit mad at him
shesajarofcandy: it was impossible to work that committee alone
shesajarofcandy: the body chose to talk about children's health initiatives first
shesajarofcandy: and big comittees like that only get to the first topic
shesajarofcandy: everyone immediately started working on papers
shesajarofcandy: they all sounded the same
shesajarofcandy: give kids drugs and clean up the areas they live in
shesajarofcandy: and of course, my country, Iceland supports these thigns
mike: not devise an infrastructure to sustain it all
mike: and build from there
shesajarofcandy: well, i got the Noric bloc to push for improving children's labor issues
shesajarofcandy: that cause a lot of health problems for children
shesajarofcandy: i tried to get other groups to put this in their papers
shesajarofcandy: but everyone wanted to be working on their OWN ideas
shesajarofcandy: and said things like, "that is a good idea, but not for this paper. why don't you write your own?"
mike: nobody would listen?
shesajarofcandy: so, we did.
shesajarofcandy: it was great fun
mike: hahahhah!
mike: i didn't expect you to say that
shesajarofcandy: a group of us put all our efforts into it
shesajarofcandy: and i think i can honestly say, putting aside humility, that it was a good paper
shesajarofcandy: we worked a whole day on it
shesajarofcandy: and then turned it in the the director
shesajarofcandy: and she turned it away!
mike: what?!
mike: did she give a reason?
shesajarofcandy: she said that it didn't address children's health enough
shesajarofcandy: and that we should combine it to another paper
shesajarofcandy: but i knew that wasn't going to happen
shesajarofcandy: the director was just too overwhelmed i think
mike: is the director someone not competing?
shesajarofcandy: the main judge
shesajarofcandy: it is insane though
shesajarofcandy: we had all these good statistics
shesajarofcandy: like 70% of children that work (the age's are between 5-10) are working in unsafe condiditons
shesajarofcandy: how is that not related to children's health
shesajarofcandy: if other groups could write paper's about child prostitution
shesajarofcandy: then why not this?
mike: because health only includes things that pills fix, duh
shesajarofcandy: one girl in our group said that she has a very narrow view of children's health
shesajarofcandy: i think she is right
mike: the director, you mean
shesajarofcandy: no
shesajarofcandy: the girl
mike: you mean that your group just had too wide a frame for "health"?
shesajarofcandy: no
shesajarofcandy: the girl was saying that the director had a narrow view of what was children's health
mike: that's what i said the first time!
shesajarofcandy: urgh
shesajarofcandy: ok
shesajarofcandy: after director rejected it .... we had the plague
shesajarofcandy: no one wanted to work with us
mike: =O
mike: oh
mike: that's sorta not reassuring
shesajarofcandy: but luckily for others in my group.... they had partners that were working on other things
shesajarofcandy: i was just by myself
shesajarofcandy: and that was that
mike: would you join the team in sd if you go there?
shesajarofcandy: i would do this again
shesajarofcandy: but i would be the same
mike: work the same, or same results, you mean?
shesajarofcandy: i would try to introduce a controversial issue again
shesajarofcandy: and i would not stop being me
mike: oh, that's what i hoped you meant
mike: i know you would, you would be true to yourself as well as the country you represent
shesajarofcandy: i got very emotional that night she rejected it
mike: sad and angry?
shesajarofcandy: i knew it was over then for me
shesajarofcandy: yeah'
shesajarofcandy: mr. g was pretty mad too
shesajarofcandy: most everyone else did really well though
shesajarofcandy: A and kevin especially
mike: mad for you?
shesajarofcandy: in their small committees....i guess it wasn't so bad
shesajarofcandy: (yeah he was mad for me)
shesajarofcandy: there were something like 2,400 people in the competition
mike: holy smokes
shesajarofcandy: from 12 countries
shesajarofcandy: and i guess you know we didn't win an award
shesajarofcandy: but a lot of people were shocked to hear that we didn't
shesajarofcandy: which was nice to hear
shesajarofcandy: oh...
shesajarofcandy: i got to go to the UN building before and after
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: and i got to sit on the floor the last day with A
shesajarofcandy: of the great hall
shesajarofcandy: the place that only real delegates and students in the competition are allowed to go
mike: is that where real UN business goes down
shesajarofcandy: yeah
shesajarofcandy: and we got to vote on the final papers and resolutions that other committees did during the week
shesajarofcandy: and we got to use the buttons to vote
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: which display the votes for each country on huge screens
mike: how did you get the chance?
shesajarofcandy: i was in general assembly plenary
shesajarofcandy: that is the main committee that does that in real life
shesajarofcandy: and i got to speak on the floor
mike: wow
shesajarofcandy: that was the best part
mike: to the whole crowd? what did you say?
mike: is that the minute-long speeches?
shesajarofcandy: it was a procedural speech urging other countries to not vote to take out a clause in a resolution
mike: (i'm looking at a picture of that room, it's insane)
mike: wow were you nervous?!?!
shesajarofcandy: we tried to make real speeches but were never called on
shesajarofcandy: no...i had it all written out
shesajarofcandy: i wrote out a formula while i was there and had about 7 speeches ready .... but they never called on us
mike: wow, i'd still be nervous if it was 10 words long
shesajarofcandy: nah, i was too excited
mike: that's so awesome!
shesajarofcandy: after the bad day i was relaxed...i stopped caring about awards and making mr. g happy
shesajarofcandy: i just cared about being there and learning
shesajarofcandy: i made friends!
mike: wow
mike: from across the world?!?!!?!
shesajarofcandy: a girl from Italy and i met early in NY before competition and i thought she was charming
shesajarofcandy: and i thought to myself, 'i'd love to work with her."
shesajarofcandy: but the chances were slim because she represented Mauritius
shesajarofcandy: a small island country in the Indian ocean
shesajarofcandy: but she came to work on my paper!
mike: yeah, i know Mauritius
mike: it has a large Indian population
mike: wow!
shesajarofcandy: and she made the perfect comment about the director
mike: what was it
shesajarofcandy: she was very beautiful too
shesajarofcandy: the one about being narrow
shesajarofcandy: and very intelligent
shesajarofcandy: she kissed my cheeks when we said goodbye!
shesajarofcandy: and gave me her card and said that we should keep in touch
mike: wow yeah!
shesajarofcandy: then i made friends with a guy that represented Norway!
mike: that's amazing
mike: uh oh!
shesajarofcandy: he helped a lot on the paper
mike: norway!
shesajarofcandy: and he saved me from becoming totally invisible there
mike: how do you mean/
shesajarofcandy: because he helped be a partner for me
shesajarofcandy: like signing me to papers and such
shesajarofcandy: he is from cal state fullerton
shesajarofcandy: and he bought be lunch once
shesajarofcandy: hehehe
mike: hehe
shesajarofcandy: i think he was fond of me
shesajarofcandy: hehehe
mike: i can imagine
shesajarofcandy: he wants me to visit him
mike: =O
shesajarofcandy: he works at the nixon library
shesajarofcandy: and said he'd give me a free tour
shesajarofcandy: ha ha ha
mike: wow
mike: you know what that means!
shesajarofcandy: the girl from italy's name is Silvia
shesajarofcandy: and his name is Adam
mike: what's her last name
shesajarofcandy: he is goofy like Kyle
mike: hehe
shesajarofcandy: and looks like him in some ways
shesajarofcandy: and says silly things
mike: like what
shesajarofcandy: i forget her last name
shesajarofcandy: most of us couldn't remember names
shesajarofcandy: because we have to refer to people by their country
shesajarofcandy: people lose identity
shesajarofcandy: i am now Iceland
mike: hehehe
shesajarofcandy: and then the people from Norway knew a German girl named Simone that was representing Mexico
shesajarofcandy: and she was super cool
shesajarofcandy: we all watched the news together at lunch and she and i talked about politics
shesajarofcandy: of course you know...that is when things in Israel intensified
mike: yeah
shesajarofcandy: simone looked like jodi foster
shesajarofcandy: and she didn't wear any makeup
shesajarofcandy: and she had a nose ring
mike: (good!)
shesajarofcandy: but it was amazing
mike: (the makeup, not the nose ring)
shesajarofcandy: the nose ring
mike: (not to exclude the nose ring)
shesajarofcandy: it didn't even stand out
shesajarofcandy: A made the comment that it looked as if it belonged
shesajarofcandy: and i don't like nose rings
shesajarofcandy: but it just was so simple
shesajarofcandy: i didn't get her email or anything so i was sad
mike: well i'd like to see that....i don't like them either (arthi has one and i think it sucks, personally)
mike: yeah, but maybe adam norway has it, hmmmm?
shesajarofcandy: i am hoping
shesajarofcandy: Adam lived in the high desert for some time
mike: wow
mike: whereabouts?
shesajarofcandy: and his partner graduated from VVC
shesajarofcandy: i forget
shesajarofcandy: once i forgot about the bad things NY was perfect
shesajarofcandy: hehehe
mike: hehehe, i'm glad you had all this fun