2004-01-20|5:22 p.m.
I feel a little strange lately. It�s not as if I�ve been a leper my whole life, but receiving the kind of attention I have recently is altogether new and exciting. Don�t they know I have acne, chubby cheeks and a weird sense of fashion? And if they just looked past that, didn�t they happen upon the fact that I am not an artist and that I am not cool? And even worse, how come they don�t notice the huge gaping hole in my chest where a heart used to lie? Oh, right, because that part is only in my mind.
Downtown, an older man on the street enthusiastically stopped me to tell me that I had a really cool haircut. That was nice, since I cut it.
One evening Anna and I were bar hopping, waiting to meet up with Jessi. At the second bar a boy began talking to me about the music some band was playing. He was nice but a little shy. Once I stopped feigning interest in the music (mostly because I was starting to get really drunk), he seemed more nervous and left. We left for another bar and I was getting sick as well as more drunk and left for the bathroom. The really cute boy I was sitting next to happened to be a friend of Anna's and he told her I was cute and asked if I was single. Funny. At that moment, I was puking my brains out.
This weekend was of similar excitement. I drove up to the High Desert to hang out with Jessi and Matt. The first night of fun started by searching out the gay bars of what has to be one of the most conservative areas in California (which strangely I grew up from). The two places we found online proved unfruitful. One place had been renamed and then closed down and the other place was so far off on a dark road that we gave up looking for it.
With only an hour left we (Michelle, Dave, Jessi and myself) headed to Draper�s. Draper�s, with its cave-like d�cor, is a total dive bar minus hipsters.
There, an overweight, older Mexican man hit on me for nearly 20 minutes straight. He kept telling the table how cute I was and then asking me over and over if he could buy me drinks or dance with me. Unsure of the situation and noticing he was drunk out of his mind, I kept turning him down. Then Dave, my Marine friend who is now dating Michelle (matchmaker, matchmaker, I am), offered to dance with him. The man called his bluff and they began to dance. Thirty seconds later, though, the bouncer came up to tell them, �You cannot do that in here.� I got pretty upset since it was pretty clear that he meant no gay dancing in here since there were several men and women dancing together. But before I could get up and do anything about it, the two sat down again. I am pretty sure that had Jessi and I started dancing it would have been more than acceptable.
But true to form, my man sat back down at our table and began pestering again. So, the cute and typically meek Michelle turns to him, �I don�t appreciate you ogling all over my friend.� To which the man responded, �You�re honest,� and pulled his seat in closer to us. All I could do was laugh. Then he asked for my number and if he could take me to Las Vegas. Mind you, he never asked for my name. That would have been an interesting marriage.
He returned at closing time to tell my friends and me that he would buy all of us breakfast at Denny�s. Sadly, we had to turn it down.
The next day, we all decided to drive to LA to go to some club�s 80s night called �Beat It.� Mike M. (known as MM or my best friend usually), Kyle (a good friend and Mike�s roommate), Dave, Michelle, Jessi, Matt and I all piled into my truck and we went. Sadly, we waited in line for nearly an hour only to get right before the club�s doors and find that they could admit no more people because it had been such a popular night. Then, we went to find another club we heard of and apparently everyone else had the same idea, because when we got there it too was closed to anymore new people.
So, we decided to go to Mike and Kyle�s place and get some beer before 2 AM (last hour to buy alcohol for CA). But I remembered a small bar near Mike�s that in our last half an hour had to have something for us to do. So, Jessi and I convinced everyone to go in there for a short bit. It was karaoke night and the bar had a handful of college kids our age and a bunch of older men. The DJ took to liking Jessi and me and we got him to play 80s music for us for the last 15 minutes of the night. We got everyone, including some strangers and minus Mike, to dance. Jessi and I took to the small stage they had there in the bar to dance together which only made Jessi�s comment completely correct when she called us �attention sluts.� We didn�t get to dance in any LA club but we sure managed to make our own. It was really amazing.
The night ended drinking at Mike and Kyle�s. It was good to be with friends and to forget that I had a pile of reading at home to do.
So, the attention is fun. And getting out with Jessi, Michelle, and/or Anna is even more fun. I feel like I am getting to participate in something I�ve always placed on some sideline for other priorities. And I am more than glad that this new setting welcomes me even if it means getting hounded by some middle aged man in a dank bar called Draper�s. And it may all seem really superficial, but for me that can be refreshing for awhile. I�ve always had to be serious, and though at the time I enjoyed that as well, I need to explore what I haven�t. I need to just have a little fun.