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2003-12-14|10:19 p.m.

I am in a lot of pain right now. And that is about all I can say about it. This year has been one of my worst and I am about ready to have it come to a literal and figurative close.

I survived finals week and I think that the three days I spent writing and cramming with only seven hours of sleep to sustain me made me a better person. I know that sounds funny, but it actually felt good when it was over. Maybe it is like finishing anything that feels like you cannot finish it, but you know you have no other choice. And like it always is� some huge drama drops into my life during my exams week and even with that I made it.

And so what that sounds corny.

I counted all the pages I wrote for papers this ten week quarter and it totaled out to 51. Fifty-one whole written pages. I think that�s impressive for an undergrad. I want to get better at it.

I wish more of my good friends (including many of you I only know through the digital divide) lived closer to me. I could really use some wholesome, friendly cheering up.

I know I will get through the aches and pains though. Because I am smarter and better than of the crap I have had to deal with.

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add a comment(3)
tigerknight - 2003-12-15 02:35:59
Be at peace--after a major undertaking, pain, stress, and depression are common; I've been there a dozen times (including after last semester's finals)--the depression hits like a hammer once the adrenaline that got you through the effort is exhausted. When the emotional reserves are drained, they only replenish after time and rest. Treat yourself to some!
B - 2003-12-15 05:50:16
Please be well, M. I think we may both be too good at making things look bigger than they really are. Finishing the semester was an accomplishment, and you should pat yourself on the back and rest well before thinking of the next. Also, in relation to the last comment, one of my good friends just got his PHD and a job at a nice college, but once his dissertation was done, he dropped into this agonizing depression. He had been working for so many years toward this goal, and once it was achieved he felt there was nothing else to reach for. Just enjoy the idle time you have, there will always be more (and more and more and more) work.
Verdine - 2003-12-15 06:33:23
I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. You have every right to feel proud of surviving finals week, crisis and all -- you worked hard and deserve the credit for it. I have also had those year's-ends that you're just glad to see coming because the whole year sucked so bad. It feels kind of like a ripoff! Anyway, just wanted to tell you to keep your chin up. Your team is pulling for you.