2001-09-12|7:28 p.m.
Once in high school, I had a substitute teacher for journalism named Miss Stakes. I hope that woman never marries, because that name is a blessing.
Today is my boyfriend and mine�s four-year dating anniversary. He turned to me today and said, �Man, four years. How ever did I do it?� He was joking�. I hope.
All yesterday, I listened to the news on the radio at work. My two classes were cancelled. I don�t even know what to say about all this, except that it�s not what Bush calls it. It is not a �war of good and evil.� I wish it were that clearly drawn.
The damage and thousands of murders that were committed were horrible and certainly not acceptable. But doesn�t it bother Americans that no one is really asking why terrorists might have done this? We just want to clamp down on security; using measures that will in most cases remove freedoms from our people rather than protect it. One of the measures already being suggested is low scale racial profiling. I have always felt for people of Middle Eastern ethnicity trying to travel, especially through air. Racial profiling will make traveling for these people, including those who are American citizens, insultingly intrusive and difficult. And for us to finish our statements that this is a war of good and evil, is very wrong. America has been committing acts of terrorism since its existence, except that we call it protecting interests of our allied countries or ourselves. But what are those interests? Do we just trust that our country is making decisions that we all feel are in the interest of �the beacon of freedom� that Bush so calls it? What exactly IS that? It took me watching a foreign news channel to find out why most Muslims don�t quite see it as a fight of good and evil, or at least not in the terms that we do. Many are very unhappy, to understate, that we support Israel.
When do we ask why exactly do we support Israel? Some political analysts, not the press or political figures, say it is AIPAC, American Israel Public Affairs Committee, and their support to American politics, namely political parties. It is as if we depend on these funds so greatly that we will do what ever they say, including supporting Israel in all issues globally. So great is their impact that it is said that they donate billions of dollars to America. Let me give you a historical example:
Bush Sr. decides to pull governmental funding from Israel. AIPAC doesn�t like it, so they tell Big Bush that his pal that is running for a NY mayor will not win despite his huge popularity in the polls. Bush doubts their power and continues to push the pulling of funds. His pal loses the election. AIPAC shows Bush their overwhelming power. He decides to change his mind. I wonder why?
So, lets go back in history a bit. Ariel Sharon, the current Prime Minister of Israel, resigned after a government commission found him indirectly responsible for the September 1992 massacre of Palestinians at the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps by Lebanese Christians. Two years later we believe that bin Laden and his Muslim terrorists are responsible for bombing the WTC. We are still very supportive of Israel despite their massacre of innocent Palestinians, which left many of the surviving homeless, searching for a new homeland. And that is not even going that far back.
So, what is my point? My point is� that we are not dealing with a simple issue. In fact we are not even certain who is responsible. A good friend of mine, S, said that it is much easy to say that the terrorists were foreign than American because it makes us feel safer. I am so very sorry that any of this has happened. Throughout yesterday and today, I�ve broken down in tears. I cannot imagine how any person or group could organize his/ her voice into such a horrific way. There is no excuse for such action. I have always been against the Taliban, they done very ghastly things to their own people especially their women. I am not even saying that our support of Israel is wrong. I really do not know enough about the connections we have. I wish I knew more. That is the point, why don�t we know more? I can only hope that America does not take retribution in more innocent lives. We have already lost too many innocent lives, Americans that have no involvement in Israeli and Palestinian concerns. The question is will we ever be concerned where and what our government does when it makes and breaks political bonds? I hope so.
Ok. I have said my peace. Hate me any of you, if you like. I just needed to exhale.
I really like the way left handed people look all hunched over and turned when they write or draw.
The last thing I found on a twenty-dollar bill: �I belong to Tito�the one and only Irish pimp.� Yeah, I don�t get it either.
I have a problem. I am a horrible friend most of the time. I make dates with people and then set myself up to miss them or shorten the time I have to spend on them. I have really been thinking about why I do this, and I think it has to do with anxiety. I get super nervous and suffer psychosomatic reactions right before I must meet these people. I think it is mostly because I feel inadequate. Most of my friendships are very strong, and they take a lot from me emotionally, and now physically. Despite their assurance that they enjoy being with me (none of this is even remotely my friends fault), I still feel like I am boring or not intelligent enough to deserve to even be around them. Urgh. I told you, I worry too much.
Ok. I am ending this before I actually feel finished. My boy and I are going out for our anniversary. He is buying me an antique ring for the occasion. I bought him a copy of the no longer published, so-called blacklist novel (the ones that the FBI track you for checking out at the library, kind of thing) called None Dare Call it Conspiracy. I am so romantic, aren�t I?