2003-03-30|12:37 a.m.
My mom watches that TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) station a lot. If you are unfamiliar with it, you�d probably think it was funny. Sometimes I do. If you are familiar with it you might still think it is funny or you might think it�s the best thing since Jim Baker and Tammy Fae. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. Either way, I am going to tell you about it. It's 24 hours of halleluiahs and white dudes pacing up and down their stage yelling at you in their saxophone voices. And like clockwork, the white dudes are followed by 1-800-GIVE-MONEY flashed across the screen.
But, TBN gives my mom peace of mind. And she likes praying. So, as long as (it is her house I�m living in and) it keeps her happy, then I am tolerant of it. Plus, I like yelling back at the white dudes when they say something ridiculous (read in: all the time).
TBN is a small insight into the polarity between my mother and I.
Tonight, I said something involving my pro-choice stance on abortion. To which the following conversation ensued:
Mom: M, have you ever had an abortion?
Me: (pauses long enough to think and cause fear) No, mom, I am extremely cautious in my promiscuity.
Luckily, at this point, she knows I am a smart ass and she can sleep at night (even if I am going to hell).